Anna and I faithfully watch our favorite show, Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, each week. I love sitting down with her on the day after it comes out with a cup of coffee and bringing it up on Hulu. Yesterday I woke up with the song “Mad World” in my head because I had been listening to the playlist from the show the night before. I was humming it all day and kind of laughed at the irony of the name of the song in this time. Then I realized that, like many songs from my growing up years, I didn’t know most of the lyrics. I can’t tell you the number of times I have found out that I was singing made up lyrics because despite the best efforts by my teenage self doing the whole “play-pause-rewind-play-again -and-write-things-as-I-went” process, I still couldn’t quite catch what they said. I will always remember laughing at my sister because she thought that the words “You make me feel like a natural woman” were “You make me feel like a mature woman.” Often when I google the real lyrics now and it comes up instantly I think, “Well, that makes much more sense.” Kids today – they don’t know how good they have it!
I guess in some ways that’s true about so many things. The internet is a powerful tool. Recently I heard someone didn’t own a Bible. No worries – open up Bible Gateway or any number of other apps. Not only do you have instant access to almost any version of the Bible you want, you have commentaries and concordances galore to make your reading more in depth if you desire. This is true of any books – unlimited libraries instantly.
I love smart phones. I never have to wonder too long about anything, really. My personality loves that. Want to know what that flower is? Google lens, snap! Do you want to know what actress played on a certain sitcom? Ask Siri. What’s the weather supposed to be like Sunday? “Alexa, tell me the weather for Sunday.” And my favorite invention – Google Maps! My husband hates it because he thinks it makes people not think. But for those who get lost going two blocks away (ME!) it is the invention of the century. FREEDOM!
But here we sit in pandemic still. Believe me, I am still very thankful for the internet. We were on lockdown in places before where the internet shut down when things like this happened, or power was so sketchy you could never be assured of even keeping your phone charged. Forget streaming Netflix when you can barely pull up your emails. But having been in this 1 year now (1 year, people!!) we are feeling so weary. It feels like I have watched all of Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime. I have walked so many miles around my neighborhood that I could do it with my eyes closed. The novelty of being able to bake my own bread and food from scratch in case of a real apocalypse has definitely worn off. I miss my family and friends – many of whom I have not seen in real life in over a year! I miss parties and gatherings without social distancing. I miss hugs and high fives. I miss walking around without a mask. And I miss worshipping together on Sundays and feeling the power of so many people lifting praise at the same time. All I want is an answer to, “Alexa, when will this be over?????”
Sometimes I try to use God like a search engine. “Hey, God, tell me the plan.” I want an instant answer that is clear and filled with concrete data – no grey areas of faith. My mind has been trained to type or talk instantly and receive the answer just as fast. Sometimes I am even guilty of accepting the first thing that comes up without researching a little more. I just want something that sounds like it could be the real answer quickly so I can move on to the next thing. I don’t like waiting.
I know the end of this particular crisis seems to be coming soon, and I am so thankful for that. But there will be another thing that happens – another crisis, another trauma, another time of waiting in the unknown. I am asking God to help me be ok with not knowing the answer, but rather knowing the One who does knows the answers. Because I know that is the real meaning of life anyway – to glorify him and enjoy him forever.
God is not a search engine, but he does have all the answers. I just need to trust that he will reveal in his time for my good and his glory.